Again, I was walking down the road, mind you I was pretty close to our stake boundaries, when a group of the NorthFakeTown Stake drove up to me flashing their gang signs. I thought it looked pretty ridiculous to see a bunch of kids trying to spell out their turf with their hand. I mean, it's like 15 letters, and I had lost track of who they were, simple because I was getting bored trying to spell out there name. At the very moment that I had lost track of what they were spelling, I couldn't help but to start giggling.
Never giggle at a ruthless gaggle of priests armed with scriptures, however they immediately proceeded to speed off. I was feeling a little full of myself, as I was little proud of what I chalked up to defending off the enemy. Like anybody that had personally fended off a hostile group (atleast in my head), I start strutting towards my house, with definite attitude. I felt like Moses when he led the jews out of Egypt. I mean, I was chanting "Follow me and I will guide you to safety..", and knowing me, It didn't stop after one time. I kept it going through my head until I noticed that the same car must have made a U-Turn, as it was coming back towards me at a high rate of speed, and acting very erratic. As I was watching in curiosity, they did a very dramatic swerve and stopped their car right in front of me. Again, I must have been full of myself, as I didn't take cover. I mean c'mon, Moses parted the red sea, the least that I could do would have been to deflect anything directed at me.
Well, that didn't happen. I couldn't have been more wrong. Before I could move, Books of Mormon, Triple Combinations, and Quads were being hurled at me. I can remember this part, as I was impressed at how fast the little people in the back had actually thrown the books at me. That was until I was knocked unconscious by the shear amount and velocity of their weapons.
As I woke up, I noticed several of my neighbors along with my Bishop hovering over me. There were giggling and muttering going on all around me, and I couldn't figure it out, and nobody would tell me. As I was standing up by the bishops car, I noticed from what I could tell, was alot of dirt on my face. Chalking that up to the recent attack, I had actually let it go, when my leaders pulled me to the side and started apoligizing to me and explaining the different retaliation options that came to their minds. I was simple happy to have lived through the attack, I mean, I could have been crucified or dropped off in the desert. What could have been so bad??
Well, I decided to look into the mirror one more time. I was totally mortified to what I had just read. The attackers must have tasked out a group of primary students to write on the books with some sort of slow drying Ink, as I had "I Feel Pretty" tatooed all over my head and arms. The croupe de gras was what what handwritten on my forhead that actually pushed me over the edge.
They had the nerve to write down I AM Against California Proposition 8. I MEAN ACTUALLY, HOW
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