Holding Our Own

Now the story that I will be telling you is not easy, Nor will it be believable to some extent. It's been a difficult few years, and trying to understand what has happened is even harder to comprehend. Where do I start, and how much can I tell you? What can I get away with, without bringing the wrath of the organization down on me? You know what, I believe that it's time that you hear the truth.

I am part of a certain organization that deals in numbers and of all outrageous things, service. I held a certain position in this organization that could invoke fear in others, well at least once a month. I was what some may call an enforcer of truth and love. I am a Home Teacher, and it was my job to extend the hand of faith in love in the hopes that the fear my title brought, would bring others obedience to the organization. I have to admit that it wasn't the funnest job in the world, however, it had it's perks. The families that you would walk by, would actually run inside, grabbing their kids in the hopes that they would miss that knock on the door to see how you were doing. You could point to some stranger, and you neighbors would sit and pray that they wouldn't be called to face my leader or leaders. We were tough, and we knew it. We throw our weight around, forcing those around us to accept our help whenever we felt necessary, though we would always pass those threats to them, that we would be back. We even incorporate the lesser known methods of persuasion with mass produced foods with scary names like "Funeral Potatoes, Noodle Casserole, or my favorite, "Green Jello with Carrots".

Some of the other tactics that we use would even scare the hardest of families. We throw bibles and books of Mormon at them. We say it's in the name of our lord, however, it's a maniacal way to bring in visitors so that we can force the love and good will upon them. Just scary if you don't know what is happening. Little do they know, that when we ask if they have any questions about our organization, we pass their information on to an elite group of young men and women that use their skill and determination to share our propaganda of faith and love. How dare us you may say, well I say good for us.

We have it more and more difficult these days. Fast offerings and Tithing can be hard to come by, so the invasive nudging that we do is necessary. We've even looked into guilt as a way, however, I don't like to use those words. I like conscience myself. We hold our own in this fiercely competitive climate. With all that we do, I can tell you that we repent every day for the harassment that we bring down. We look for guidance in those prayers, which is needed in the hope of finding those additional names to stock and hunt like the prey that they are.

From stake to stake, the boundaries are set, the lines are drawn. These are the stories of the Mormon Mafia, and I can only tell you that it's beyond belief.